If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize