addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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