Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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