I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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