I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
