you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
