So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
