I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
