North Korea, Best Korea!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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