dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
