i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
