I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sext me about skeletons
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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