I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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