It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
