Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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