remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
