I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am one with the molecules
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
