It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
