i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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