so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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