Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She even gives head with a lisp.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
