I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
