that's an acceptable place to lick
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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