i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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