I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Don't make out with my wife yet
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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