girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
