What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
