His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
