We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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