Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
