i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
