i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
