I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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