I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You ruined the universe
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
