You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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