You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
