and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
