if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
