you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
