I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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