Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
