I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize