i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I didn't notice because vodka
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
