Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
