OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
