I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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