last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
