if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
