i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
