the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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