he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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