I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just invented taco cereal.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
