im having a threesome with these popsicles
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
