You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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