whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
