So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize