We won't sleep together?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
