I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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