Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
