k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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