I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
