So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
