Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
