Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
