I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize